I need some serious advice…. Answer this if you have seen New Moon from the Twilight Saga.

This is going to be long I’ll try to keep things as short as possible…. But if you really want to help me, please read:

I am the type of girl who puts her heart and soul into every single relationship. I literally could fall in love with anybody. I have never solely been focused on looks or physical appearance, mind you.

I’ve had about four serious relationships, including the one that I’m in. Two previous relationships ended very badly. One of them included a miscarriage. But both were very hard for me to deal with, and I’m not sure if I’m completely over it all…. 

I’m comparing my relationship now to one of the Twilight movies… I know I’m lame, but this is the only way I could like, explain it in a way that you could understand. 

My current boyfriend saved me when my ex left. I went through a deep and dark depression after my miscarriage. I didn’t even feel like a person. I just wanted everything to go back to normal. To fix things with my ex and for him to come back. But he didn’t. My ex left Just like Edward did in the second movie. And my current love saved me like Jacob saved Bella…. it took me months to let him in, but he prevailed. 

My boyfriend and I are beginning to talk marriage, and at first I wasn’t worried until I watched New Moon again today. I began to cry… I was thinking of my ex here and there. I have earlier throughout our relationship too. It felt so wrong. I felt/feel like I was betraying him. Why would I think about an ex, let alone cry about him when I’m “happy” in another relationship? Then I began to think of another important and previous relationship in my life… I got very sad and introverted. I love my boyfriend so much. I want to marry him, he is my best friend. But I’m scared it won’t last. I’m scared I’m “settling”… and I don’t know what to do because we have been together for almost a year. I told him all my feelings. I cried in his arms, and we both admitted that we wouldn’t give up on each other. I love him so much… but then I think of my exes, or even a man I don’t know. Could someone else be the one? Why am I having these mixed feelings? If I lost my boyfriend now I don’t know what I could do…. I really don’t know what else to say… I mean, things are far more complicated, but this is the main idea of it…. Please, help!